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Let’s balance the Budget

by ‘Barack Obama’

As many of you know, the federal budget is said to be out of control. I said this back when I was a senator from the great city of Chicago and state of Illinois, where I learned how governments can actually run properly. But what I meant wasn’t what you might think. I’m one step ahead of all of you, if you pardon my audacity.

What I found out in my time at the Illinois statehouse and on the streets of Chicago is that you let your enemies do the dirty work. And after they’ve done it, you step in to tweak the result to your advantage, but don’t have to be the one who imposed the conditions that created it. It’s important who is blamed for saying ‘no’ to the millions who depend upon government for their subsistence. And we know who wants to tell you ‘no.’

We’re at that moment in Washington D.C.; Republicans are holding up the progress we’ve made these past four and one half years by refusing to increase the debt limit. I say, from a position of strength given me by a clear majority who elected me to this office, that I will let the Republicans do what they are promising to do: wound our nation by starving portions of it to death. I signed the Affordable Care Act in an effort to provide health care to all Americans, but the Republicans are objecting to the costs of running our nation’s needed services including Obamacare.  So I’ve decided to let Congress decide what our nation’s government can spend, and let the chips fall where they may. We have to get over this divide, and I maintain the best way is to let the chaos occur in the short-term in order to obtain the longer term goals we all want and need. You’ve seen what this does to folks visiting our national parks, and that’s only the beginning. We’ll make this hurt, but bear with me America, we’ll get through this and be better off.

You know what I want: I want it all, we all do, and we CAN provide all the needs of Americans now and in the future. But, given the restrictions imposed upon this government by the clearly outdated Constitutional powers vested in the three branches of government, it only takes one branch to stop the progressive movement we all deserve. So, I am prepared to let the Republicans cut the budget; this will result in the destruction of so many current and needed programs that I believe even more American people will revolt against this conservative tyranny and shut this door finally and permanently after all is said and done. And I’ll be there to help pick up the pieces and lead us finally to the promised land you all deserve.

Just call me the “little engine that could” president who tried very hard to provide for all Americans, but who believes the best way to achieve our ultimate goal is to let the other side permanently fail. And when that happens we can elect my successor (some say me but I smile) to finally put this nation on the path to full socialism, communism, fascism or whatever false term conservatives wish to call us, that I and millions of Americans are clamoring for. We can make America work for us and the entire world, because we’re citizens of the world as well as America. Allahu Akbar.


Barack Obama is unfortunately President of the United States

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