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Execution by Weed-eater

By Larry Leonard
August 23, 2013 — Obama’s “Arab Spring”  is a riot.  The Hose-kneed Mubarak (some kind of desert vulture) who for two billion U.S. Dollars a year had long kept Egypt from sending its military to squash Israel (the only working sane government in the Middle East) was removed by mass demonstrations in downtown Cairo.  A group called the Muslim Brotherhood was the instigator.  Think Al Qaeda, or any of the namesakes of that group, there.  Terrorists.  Supporters of Sharia — an Islamic structure of law which turns women into the property of their husbands, casually executes homosexuals, Christians and Jews and so forth.

Anyway, an election was held.  Anybody who had an association with the famous black flag of Islam received unlimited votes in that election.  The flag is a symbol of the Islamic military rape and slaughter of northern-Mediterranean nations six hundred years A.D. which stretched from the Middle East to Spain.  That’s what caused the Crusades.

(“Modern” American educators in your public schools, including colleges, rarely mention that part, by the way.)

Now, this Egyptian election elected the Muslim Brotherhood to run the country.  Thus, the Egyptian dictator, Mubarak, was replaced by a Muslim Brotherhood dictatorship.  What changed was almost everything except the two billion in U.S. foreign aid.  It was now going to slaughter Coptics (a kind of Christian) and members of any other faith that wasn’t part of Islamic terrorism.  It was now going to build a military that could attack any middle east nation that didn’t much like Iran going nuclear.  Some people came to wonder about the descriptive term: “Arab spring.”

But, once again, the Egyptians are revolting

It’s hard to tell which ones and why, this time.  The only thing their history tells us is that they spend a lot of time doing this sort of thing.

Christianity by the numbers is the largest religion on Earth.  Its bible consists of elements of the Hebrew (Jewish) Torah, known as the Old Testament, and writings relating to the life and philosophy of Jesus of Nazareth, which is called the New Testament.  Islam is the third largest religion by the numbers, and number four is a collection of followers of the teaching of a man from India known as Guatama or The Buddha.

Of the four great (I’ll call them) faiths, the only one with a central figure whose “book” begins with the slaughter of un-believers is Islam.  Mohammed’s first act as a prophet was to lead his followers to Mecca (the location of an ancient meteorite in Saudi Arabia) to kill by the sword everybody there who had never heard of said prophet.  This is recorded in the Islamic holy book’s earliest chapters.  Get a copy of this book, known as the Koran, and read it for yourself.

This explains the military slaughter that stimulated the Crusades, the eternal conflicts of the Middle East ever since, and the current beheading of everyone from the journalist, Daniel Pearl to the Coptic Christian priests (and nuns) in recent weeks.

Weed Eaters and no weeds

My point here is that since it has gone on for at least fifteen hundred years, now, doing it with a blade is out of date.  Technology has left the practice in its wake.  The French saw that a few hundred years back, and came up with the guillotine.  Now, with motors and engines, one could improve the process.  Yes, a chainsaw is the first machine to come to mind, but they are noisy and you would lose much of the screaming of the victim which adds to the grass whip version.







The guillotine added that Roman element of entertainment to the event because it isn’t as noisy as a chainsaw, but besides the audio, with a gas powered weed-eater, you get a slower and much more bloody activity without the need for a coliseum.  I don’t know if Egyptians have an annual event like our county fairs, but the new regime’s affectionate connection with Iran means they can get all the fuel they need to slowly hack off a multitude of unbeliever’s heads.  And, while electric power distribution is spotty there, gas-powered weed-eaters, being very portable, could celebrate Mohammed’s first visit to Mecca in every village in Northern Africa for decades to come.  We recommend four-cycle devices because two-cycle engines are hard to start at times, and could generate fatwas against the manufacturer.

The process could even replace stoning women for being raped or shopping for groceries without their burka.  The right size stones are not always available (“handy,” so to speak) but Iran is an unlimited source of weed-eater energy.

There could be an Al Jazeera (formerly Al Gore) satellite channel reality show about this.  Its on-screen logo could be a Caesarian “thumbs down.”


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